Dive

I never had that natural instinct when it came to swimming. There are parents out there who put their young babies in the water, and somehow they miraculously know how to swim without instruction. I, however, would’ve been the child that accidentally drowned in that attempt. To this day, I am a weak swimmer, and I am too afraid to dive into the water in fear of drowning because I do it wrong. 

The same goes for everything else. I don’t have a natural skill at really anything. I have to work for what I do and who I am and where I want to go. Things just don’t come naturally. 

But, that being said, the lack of some skills has also taught me that I just need to dive into things that I am absolutely useless at. Because, things like communication and interpretation are things that don’t come naturally for a lot of people. For me, when someone asks me a serious question on the spot that I need to answer right then and there, one of two things could happen. Either my mind goes completely blank, or my mind races so fast that my words come out all mumbled and jumbled and there’s no way for them to be interpreted or communicated in the way I actually want them to. And both of those situations bother me so much, that I just sit there and don’t do anything about a situation, because the longer I sit there and think about what I’m trying to say, the more irrelevant it seems to get to the topic. Even if it still is relevant. It’s like when you say a word over and over again, and you start to question if it actually sounds right. It’s one of those things that I find impossible to dive into, that I really just need to so that I don’t incessantly over think things that should just come right out from mind to mouth. It’s a learning curve for sure, but it’ll come eventually just like everything else. 

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