Admire

There’s this person I know. She’s in a way pretty similar to me with the circumstances she’s decided to bring upon herself. She’s a very strong and independent person, and someone I admire for being able to handle the hand that has been dealt to her. I consider her a good friend. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about things that most people don’t necessary understand, yet they try to sympathize. It’s nice having someone who shares empathy instead, because they understand the journey I’m embarking on with a loved one.

A lot of the time I find myself getting really stressed out over things I can’t control, and things that don’t go the way I want them to. I was an only child up until I turned 16, so I was always raised to be super independent, and I spent a lot of my time by myself or around adults, and always found myself getting along better with adults. I believe, because I always had that control over myself, and when I did actually become more independent as an adult, I felt as if I  had no control at all. Which is very hard, because going from having so much control over myself and the environment around me to really not being able to control much other than myself is a big change.

I had a wake up call to the adult world today. Someone stole my credit card number and $300 from my account. I cannot tell you how panicked I became and how quickly. I eventually was able to figure it all out. However, feeling so helpless and leaving 30 hours of my life spent earning that money up to the bank to figure out is ridiculously stressful.

Now, back to that friend I have. I admire her tons, because of how much she just goes with the flow and lets what happens happen. I want to be able to do that. I am working on being able to do that. Because, embarking on a lifestyle I never thought I’d embark on is going to throw so many uncontrollable things my way, and I need to be able to let things do what they do.

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